Let me start by saying I hate that word.
It’s like with any other popular overused word, as soon as it makes it into mass vernacular, it starts to morph and stretch and lose its original meaning, its original intentions.
People use it positively but people also use it negatively.
And to me now it sounds like “hard limits, protection, shield, rejection”; ultimately: rejection.
How about adding the word “healthy” into the mix?
Healthy boundaries. What’s a healthy boundary? Why would any boundary not be healthy? What’s an unhealthy boundary? Doesn’t it depend on the person? Or even on the relationship and on both people’s needs? Does a healthy boundary come with consent? And doesn’t consent require at least 2 people?
The way I see it, it’s more about defining/expressing more clearly who you are, what you like, painting your edges, for others to see. Presenting your outline, making it more visible/noticeable. Communicating/showing your “shape”. That shape is not fixed; it can have hard edges but also soft edges too. It changes over time. For only when people can show their shape to each other can they determine if they fit together or not, and what adjustments would need to be made if at all possible. Like pieces of puzzle that are adaptable to some extent.
Expressing your edges has more to do with who you are as a person.
Expressing your boundaries sounds more like defense. A line not to cross.
